• Surviving Stillbirth

    Helping Helps with Grief

    In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month . . . It had been a month since Caleb died. The dust was settling, and people were getting on with their lives. I was sitting on the couch in the living room staring at the television, googling crazy things like “Why did this happen to me, God?” and watching youtube videos made by other grieving moms that made me cry so hard I would eventually pass out from exhaustion. FUN TIMES. (Note: one of the unfair things about a late-term still birth or infant loss is that I (like many moms) was already on maternity leave. Our bodies are still…

  • Heart Mama,  Surviving Stillbirth

    Miracles and Murmurings

    And my God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to His riches in glory. Philippians 4:19 I must confess: I have spent my whole life judging the Hebrews during their wilderness sojourn. It is difficult for me to watch them murmur against the God who continually, faithfully provides for them. They witness the ten plagues against Egypt, including the smiting of every firstborn male in Egypt. They leave Egypt weighted down by their captors’ treasures after 430 years of bondage, led by a pillar of cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. And yet, when Pharoah gives chase, they cry to Moses, Was it because…

  • Surviving Stillbirth

    Dear friend whose name I do not know

    Dear friend, It has been over a year since I watched you from across the Cheney Stadium baseball field at the TEARS foundation annual remembrance walk. You were waddling, balancing a belly about to burst. You were surrounded by loved ones, your husband holding your hand. And you wore the same shirt I did. The names were different on the back of each of ours; my shirt had my baby’s name on it, and your shirt bore the name of your own baby. As you walked, head held high in grief and plain ol’ stubborn Mama Love that won’t ever quit, I watched grief slowly overtake you. You slowed your…

  • Heart Mama

    “I will carry you”

    I said to you, “Have no dread or fear . . . The LORD your God, who goes before you, is the one who will fight for you, just as he did for you in Egypt before your very eyes, and in the wilderness, where you saw how the LORD your God carried you, just as one carries a child, all the way that you traveled until you reached this place.”Deuteronomy 1:29-31 All the way that you traveled . . . I can’t believe it’s been 10 weeks since Sam’s surgery. I thought we would be back to normal life by now, settling into the new school year, a new…

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Taylor K Arthur