Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24 I am always surprised when the J monster slithers under the back door of my heart. One moment I am enjoying a friendship, and the next my heart tightens and races as if it has been poisoned. I feel the beast climbing up my throat, threatening to choke out our conversation. I shake my head, trying to shake loose of its grip. I leave the moment in a fog, asking myself, Where did that come from? But once…